You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June, 2008.
All featuring women who can’t express emotion, have fucked up families, and probably are super into gentrification and deportation.
Fuckkk, these women look like transvestites. I can never get back the hour of my life I lost watching this garbage. Multiple-husband syndrome? Check. Cougar-Syndrome? Check. Druggie son? Check. This show has the works. Why don’t they throw that slut Linda Hogan up in the mix, she is dating a 19 year old, afterall. Anyway, these bitches may be rich, but they still look like horses:
Don’t get me wrong, I will be CLINGING, CLINGING to my youth when I hit 40-50, but seriously, don’t expect to see me hanging out with ugly women who have nothing better to talk about than Botox-Methods and failed love lives, no thanks. Victoria, the second “thing” to the left, is so fucking busted, seriously, she looks like she got hit in the face by something way more powerful than a frying pan. Quinn, the bitch in the middle is a fat slob who keeps dating old men, but secretly dating young men behind her back, fail. Something about nouveau-riche screams tacky, sceams these women to me. No matter how hard you try to buy youth, you’ll never get it, bitches! Treated!!!
Read more HERE.
This day just keeps getting worse and worse. Seriously, I should’ve just stayed in bed. Word on the internets is that the taping of “Judge Judy” dealing with Latarian’s case was canceled. They go into reasons why on DLISTED, but I don’t even care anymore. I’m so disappointed, you guys. How do I insert a sad emoticon face here?
Ebay is paying $61 a millis to LVMH for its sale of fakes. LVMH took the court to French court arguing the sale of at LEAST 90% of fake Louies & Dior perfumes were fakes. Of course, Ebay striked back, being salty making the statement that LVMH is just salty that sales are going to “law-abiding consumers” instead of them. Recently, Hermes won a lawsuit against E-Fake for 20,000 Euros for not properly watching sale of Hermes leather goods. All I can say is, for the meantime, I’ll stick to buying Euro bootleg Joy Divison shirts & Morrissey tapes.
I apologize for throwing the F BOMB around like crazy this morning. I’m obviously not in the greatest mood/still pissed about this situation.So, Hi, I have anger issues. I’ll admit it; I take after my Dad. I’ve been better about it in the last year and a half or so, meaning that I don’t spit in people’s faces or throw drinks (with their associated glasses) anymore. I’ve been more calm and nonchalant towards situations. One of my downfalls though? Idiots who drive. I have the worst road rage and I talk a ton of shit; but I’m working on it. I mean, I don’t say anything to elderly people; I let them get away with their going-to-cause-an-accident actions. That’s a start right?
Even though I’ve made a conscience effort to not get heated and go nuts every 5 seconds, there’s just certain scenarios that I won’t budge for. Fuck with my family or my dogs and all bets are off. Any self constraint that I had goes out the window, SORRY. This weekend someone fucked with one of my dogs (Hi Chili), and my head exploded.
Quick background info: I purchased Chili at this puppy shop/grooming salon and before I brought her home, I had them groom her, put bows all up in her shit, make her look great. They did a wonderful job. Keep this in mind. Saturday morning (11:00am), my Mom takes Chili to get groomed at the same place, SAME LADY. Hours go by and my Mom finally decides to call the grooming place at 4:30pm. They say, “Oh yea, Chili’s done.” Ok great, thanks for calling us to let us know, but whatever..
My Mom goes to get my dog, and brings back something that looks like a cross between a rat and a Leukemia patient. It took both my brother and I at least 10 minutes to figure out that it was Chili (How we knew? She pissed on her puppy pad. Potty trained, that’s how we do it.) My Mom isn’t the type to say something if she’s not satisfied, but I am..so I called the place. I talked to the lady for about 15 minutes..said things like, “I could cut my dog’s hair better blindfolded,” “What the hell did you do to my dog,” “How are you even a professional dog groomer,” and ” Are you an idiot?” Finally, she called me a bitch and hung up.
Yea, wrong move. My brother and I took a picture of (the after) Chili and went over there to the salon ourselves. I’m not going to go into details, but she basically denied calling me a bitch and refused to give our money back. My brother played the nice, civil unsatisfied customer. I played the crazy, yelling unsatisfied nut. We left. Since then, I’ve thought of several ways to get back at her business, which is obviously ridiculous, but at this point, I DON’T CARE. Egging? Sure. Throwing a molatov cocktail at her establishment (after freeing all the animals)? My preferred choice. I’ll settle with calling (IP-Relay) her every day and talking shit..oh, and keying her car because I saw the salon van later on that evening. I understand that it’s just hair and that it will grow back, but it’s the principle. Admit you messed up, and that’s that. Honestly, she had it coming.
Edit: Knowing that this would be golden footage, my brother recorded (on his cell) the phone conversation I had with Mary. I’ll be sure to try and put that up here in addition to the before/after picture of Chili. Until that happens, just settle for the picture (above) of the ugliest dog in the world. Fucking BITCH.
Wow, it’s Monday. Uhh, this weekend: I spilled weird messy Mexican candy all over one of my favorite dresses, I went into a stoned Taco Bell coma one night, and a sushi coma the next, I lived in the sun (and in my bathing suit) while listening to Top 40 all day long, I almost smacked a bitch/blew up her building/keyed her car, and I bought my brother a set of cups, a microwave and a bottle of body wash for his housewarming gift. I’ve also come to the realization that I need anger management classes, but I’ll save that for another post. I’ll probably write it after I’m done with this one. I’m also completely unaffected by this Cubs/Sox crosstown rivalry, so if you want to chat about it..contact Alicia or Harrel. Oh, and Kanye West and his outfit (above, at the Lanvin show, thanks Perez) are about as Summer perfect as Summer perfect can get. Men, take note.
I’m of the rare breed of native Chicagoans that has yet to attend the Taste. And I’m confident the only thing I’m missing is crowds of ugly people trying to eating while they walk and maybe Stevie Wonder. Eh. It’s not that I don’t like to eat; I eat four, sometimes five times a day; I just don’t do well with that many people aimless and amassed. Love a spectacle, hate a crowd -go figure.
That being said, saturday night PAT BENATAR was at the Taste of Joliet. And so was I. If you think about it a minute, you can name three or four of her songs. We Belong to the Night, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Love is a Battlefield and Heartbreaker (apparently, some song she did for the soundtrack to The Legend of Billie Jean is recognizable, but I don’t know the name of that one). And she played all of them. I got my free ninety-nine worth.
Yeah, I sang along. I put a girl on my shoulders. I’m not proud. Moving on.
I started thinking today about all the songs titled Heartbreaker. There are twenty-five different ones in my Itunes today. The most popular, second to Pat, is the Led Zeppelin jam. And a mighty jam it is. My favorite Cursive song is the one that starts with the Jimmy Page lick you hear at about the 2:10 mark. Jam. Still not my favorite Heartbreaker though.
YO, IT’S TWO MARIAHS!!! AND THEY’RE FIGHTING!!! Ignore Jerry O’Connell and focus on the sweater cleavage. BANGIN. I think this video was the catalyst for my blonde & brunette fantasy. It also influenced Tarantino to use animation for part of Kill Bill*. GROUNDBREAKING. No disrespect to Grand Funk Railroad, Zapp & Roger, or Will.I.Am, but Mariah has the Heartbreaker game on lock. I’m so glad she wrote it about me. Thanks, M.
* citation needed
