I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

My soul mate and life companion, Latarian Milton is going to be on Judge Judy. Vikkita Stratford (I think that’s the Gramma?) is suing his mom, Ashley Milton, for $5,000 for damages resulting from the incident. The episode will air in the fall. (Info piece jacked from Jezebel.)

I Love Fights V.300: Ice-T VS Soulja (All-Over print) Boy

Daaang.  Ice-T aka used to be in Body Count has started some serious rap beef with Soulja Boy.  

Here’s whats up:

First, Ice out this video out calling out Soulja Boy for having whack-ass hair beads and “actin’ happy:” Watch HERE.

Then Soulja Boy aka ‘ Jockin’ on them haterz man” rebuttled:

“HOW YOU GUNNA MAKE  A SONG CALLED “FUCK THE POLICE” YEARS LATER YOU ON LAW & ORDER, NIGGA?”

THENNN, Ice-T responded again, struck with the quickness:

MANNN.  DRAMAAAAAAAA. LOVEEEEEEE IT.  Ice-T is feelin’ Lupe, T.I, Weezy, but not you SOULJA! What you gunna do?  Crank that Ice-T??  Ice-T is saying there will be “serious ramifications.”   I can’t wait to see what happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Vivienne Westwood,

DONTBECHI thanks you for saying, “See ya!” to super skinny, feminine boy models and saying, “Hello luvah,” to big, masuline monsters on your runway.

Horseplay.

I’ve never been to the races, but I picture a bunch of older men wearing sweatpants, cargo shorts, maybe jeans and gambling (while sweating). Some of their women are with them, probably also wearing what I described. I guess I am wrong????? While men go to compete against each other in terms of who can pick the winning horse, women go to compete against each other in terms of who can wear the best (and by best, I mean most fucked up) hat. Something tells me that they’re not at the horseraces that take place on North and First Ave though; you know, the racetrack by Kiddieland? Big WTF’s pictured below..

Thanks to New York Magazine for pointing out this weird Subculture I never knew about.

I got Top 5 on it: I Perform Mini Concerts in my Car.

I own a blue VW Jetta Wagon and live anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour away from where I work. This means that you can find me cruising around town starting at 8am or ending at around 6pm listening to music that suggests that I should be rolling on dubs and not trotting around in a soccer mom-esque vehicle. Let me elaborate.

Sitting in 60 minute traffic is hell, especially for someone who has slight, undiagnosed A.D.D. Because of the feeling that I need to keep myself occupied at all times, you can find me doing one (or a few) of the following on any given day: Putting on makeup, talking on the phone, thumbing through a magazine, putting topcoat on my nails. You think I’m kidding, but I can assure you that I am not. In addition to this, my music is always loud. Not obnoxiously loud, but louder than average. Of course everyone around you is paying attention to your whole driving situation as well. I’d like to call these people “Traffic Lurkers,” and they are the WORST. I can’t talk too much shit though; I am one of them.

So, while I do enjoy a little John Mayer here and there, I will say that I also listen to music that maybe shouldn’t be listened to at the volume I have it at, or by a 22 year old business women AT ALL. I listen to some dirty, grimy shit. Let me find a quote to back up my statement: I‘m so impulsive, I’ll start gunning right in front of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.” What the fuck? Now, what would you think if you were traffic lurking, and noticed a woman to the side of you in complete business attire, listening to lyrics like this? And you know I’m singing out loud to everything too, so if you thought that it couldn’t get any worse, it can and it does. I give complete musical performances in my car.

I started taking into consideration my fellow 9-5 traffic lurkers around me by using my AC more, and maybe just having my windows down partially. I mean, we ARE all in this together; we just want to get to work on time and/or get home ASAP. This morning was a little different, however. I didn’t have as much consideration because the weather was just too beautiful. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, I’m in a good mood…so all 4 windows were down, and the volume was at maximum. My burned CD of choice this morning had these 5 songs on there. Enjoy.

Prodigy “Nickel and a Nail” (MP3)
Prodigy “Mac 10 Handle” (MP3)
Clipse “Mr. Me Too” (MP3)
Lil’ Wayne “A Millie” (MP3)
Cam’Ron “Wet Wipes” Remix (MP3)

Tonight!

THE WORLD IS A HATER!!!

MAN! Adding insult to injury, Shaq AKA  KAZAAM is dissing Kobe HARD for losing to the Celtics.  To make matters worse, we learn 2 things: 1). Vasectomy 2). Shaq is into dudes telling him how his ass tastes.